Hangover Cure

I get some of my best ideas drinking coffee. I get good ideas drinking whiskey, too, but I forget them before I can write them down.

I was drinking coffee in the office yesterday morning, instant coffee in a cup with a Christmas tree and the “Peanuts” character Snoopy on the side, when I came up with the best idea I’ve had since I decided to stop smoking cigars around my wife. Well, actually, the cigar idea was hers, but I got on board with it pretty quickly.

What I want to do is change the Constitution of the United States of America, of which I am a native-born, taxpaying resident who drives...