Tales of a coffee-holic: The thing of it is ...

Earlier this week I heard news of the jerky gun that Cabela’s recalled due to overheating issues that could cause a fire hazard. As of last week there was only one report of a jerky gun battery pack overheating, with no injuries, according to the Associated Press.

This news made me think about all the inventions out there that no one really needs.

Of course Cabela’s sells a plethora of equipment that is useful, practical and even necessary for many outdoor adventures. I do not think that the jerky gun is one of them. The gun, which reportedly looks like a caulking gun, is used to make uniform strips of jerky. Although I’m a vegetarian, I’ve had family members who made their own deer jerky. They seemed to do just fine without a jerky gun.

I truly wonder who would spend $150 on a jerky gun. I’m sure most of you have more expendable income than I do, but I’m not spending $150 on anything unless it’s pretty important. Then again, I spent $20 on sheets at Walmart this week and I think they gave me rug burn, so maybe I’m just cheap.

I constantly see items in stores and on TV and wonder what sort of person these items are being marketed to. Ever heard of a wig for cats? You know, so you can make your cat look more like your girlfriend if you’re horribly lonely. That’s a real product. I’ve never met any cat who would keep one of those on for more than a few seconds. I think the best marketing for that product might be “Do you want to end your day covered in claw marks? Try the cat wig!”

Ever heard of the golf club that holds urine in the handle? That’s right, it’s an invention, marketed to male golfers when out on the course far away from the bathroom. Just cover your business with a flap attached to the club, urinate into the handle, and then carry around a club full of your own urine all day. I’m sure your golfing buddies won’t find it disgusting that you’ve got a cylinder full of your own waste at your side through the rest of the game.

Ever seen an invention that’s supposed to make cooking pasta easier? I’ve seen commercials for more than one gadget of this sort. I’m not sure who’s buying this, but if you have trouble making pasta you probably need to rethink what you’re doing with your life. I used to work as a caregiver for a mentally disabled woman who regularly made spaghetti with little help from me. If you really need help with that, maybe work on your life skills.

My point is, if life is seeming so hard that making pasta is a struggle, or so boring that your cat needs a wig, maybe you need to do some reflecting instead of just buying useless gadgets. We live in a world of consumerism where we think things can fix our problems, even problems we didn’t even know we had. Perhaps we should leave our cats in the coat they were born with and use the bathroom before heading out on the course.

Some of these issues have pretty simple answers. Life is full of problems and buying more stuff is probably not the answer to most of them.