Tales of a coffee-holic: Not so total recall

Obviously, most of us are pretty reliant on our memories for daily function. Memory guides us to work, helps us complete tasks and look back on our lives. Many of us would probably be surprised to find that the ways in which we remember a special or even a traumatic event in our lives was not how it actually happened at all.

While covering this week’s trial and listening to evidence and witness testimony, it’s clear that everyone remembers events differently. Of course, some of the people testifying in the trial could very well be lying. Setting that aside, those who have no obvious reason to lie often remember things differently than one another. Many even recall things quite differently now than they did shortly after the incident occurred. Some even seem to have no memory at all of what they originally reported.

Those who work in law enforcement are probably used to hearing statements that don’t match up or aren’t accurate from even those they believe to be truthful.

Many of us probably consider our memories pretty accurate. The thing is, they’re not. We misremember who was present at party and in what order events took place. Even hearing suggestions from other people can color our perception wildly. People recall ongoing events lasting for much longer than they actually happened and seem sure that their memories are correct when the facts show otherwise. Some people can even be persuaded to remember things that never even happened to them.

It turns out our ability to recall is a tricky thing. Although we can accurately remember a basic set of events that occurred, the details might be wrong.

I’m well aware that I remember some things incorrectly. When I think of my parents’ house, I remember how it looked when I was a kid, not how it appeared the last time I saw it.

Looking back on a past relationship after a bad breakup could make one think the whole coupling was unpleasant, when it really wasn’t. On the other hand, we tend to idealize past times and remember them better than they really were.

I find this a little unsettling. The way I remember my entire life may be very different than how it actually happened. But who can tell? Everyone else who was there has a memory just as bad or worse than mine.

Maybe the next time you get into an argument with a loved one about past events, just forget it. You’re both probably wrong and unless you had a video camera at the time, neither of you can prove it.

That’s just the way it is.