Tales of a coffee-holic

I like to think that I'm pretty hard to surprise. But I went out on the town in Sidney last weekend with a female friend in tow and I can honestly say I was astounded at the amount of attention our presence elicited, and by the behavior of many of those I encountered.

I was surprised because most of the people I've met so far in Sidney have been perfectly courteous, friendly and polite to me. So far, aside from a few cat calls and wolf whistles when walking at night, I have not been the object of any unwanted male attention.

All this changed when I went to Stewie's Friday night. Neither my friend and I really thought about the fact that we'd never gone out on the town without a male companion and neither of us thought for a second that it would be a problem. Oh boy, were we wrong. We sat in the corner of the bar facing each other for a reason: because we wanted to have a few drinks, mind our own business and chat with each other. Little did we know that for the entire night, we'd barely be able to get though a conversation without being accosted by men throwing themselves at me like they'd never seem a woman before in their lives.

When I decide to move to Sidney I was informed by quite a few people familiar with small town life that I'd be "fresh meat." People told me that random townspersons might try to set me up with their nephew or grandson and that I would be a subject of attention at local bars.

I'm going to attempt to relay a few tips to the young men of Sidney. The ones I met last Friday are in sore need of help. Yelling at someone from across a large space is not a good way to pick up a lady. When a woman makes it clear that she's not at all interested, grabbing onto her shoulders is not an intelligent way to change her mind. For a second I considered slapping this man but thought it would look pretty bad if I was named in the court reports for getting in a bar brawl.

This is my message to the men of Sidney: Just because a lady is out at a bar, it does not mean she deserves to be treated like a piece of meat. Sometimes a girl just wants to go out and have a drink with a friend. Not every person who goes to an establishment that serves drinks is looking to get picked up. If you ask me out without knowing anything about me, I know you're only interested in my looks—and that means I'm not interested in you. If I turned you down 5 minutes ago and you've said nothing mind shatteringly brilliant in the last 5 minutes, I'm going to turn you down if you ask again. If you become angry when I voice opinions that are different than yours, it's probably not going to work out. Sometimes, persistence is a valued trait, but when a lady doesn't want you around, at best, you are an annoyance to her and at worst your are a potential threat when you won't leave her alone.

Every woman out there, no matter what she looks like has been the object of unwanted male attention at some point in her life. You can blame it on drunkenness if you want but any man who claims to have morals would not grab a lady he didn't know.

A few more tips: If you're ever trying to pique a woman's interest, never mention that you're on probation and aren't technically allowed to be in the state of Nebraska. Also, maybe keep to yourself any interesting stories you've heard lately about anal rape. Don't repeatedly hug women you've never seen before in your life. Most women have probably heard that they're pretty, or cute or beautiful (oh brother) a million times from men they don't know. Hearing this from a random person she just met in a bar does not make a girl feel special. It makes her feel like a piece of meat.

I mentioned this experience to a few people, and some seemed to think it was typical bar activity. I have gone to many bars in various town in Indiana, as well as high class joints, dive bars and clubs in Denver. I have never encountered anything like this before in my life.

Maybe try talking with a lady about something interesting instead of telling her she's pretty and expecting her to drool over you as well just because YOU find yourself to be good looking. I have no time for good looking people who aren't interesting to be around. If you're not border-line hilarious, don't even talk to me. If you don't believe in the basic principles of science, please don't hit on me. I'm not interested. For the love of God, men of Sidney (or at least the group encountered Friday), learn to have some class or the next time I go out, I'll be calling my good friends at the Police Department if one of you gets fresh.