It's Mines

As graduation rapidly approaches and yet another school year is winding down, for many life seems to pick up pace and a different kind of schedule adopted.

Kids are starting the last day of school count down, much like they do for Christmas break, and adults start to make arrangements to accommodate the three months of no school.

Nonetheless, everyone in the family making plans for the summer; adults looking forward to summer vacation with the family, away from work and the stress there; kids looking forward to the long days of hanging out with friends, worry free and without homework.

And with graduation at hands length, most high school graduates are making plans to spending the last few months with friends they won’t see for a while and making this last summer of teenage angst one to remember.

The excitement of knowing soon they will be officially on their own, some off to college looking forward to a bright future and some ready to jump into the working world feet first; but either way visions of the future and adulthood soon to be realize.

It is during this time of transition from child to adult these teens parents fret about how quickly their child will be out on their own and how incredibly quickly the time flew by.

Soon their babies will be living their own lives, making their own decisions, and making their own mistakes.

The latter the hardest to watch, because after all, as parents we must do as many of our parents did for us; stand back and watch as our kids for the first time truly spread their wings to leap out into the world, praying they land softly and steadily on the ground.

Some parents will be old pros at the not-for-too-long goodbyes by now, some this will be a first in a new chapter of their lives, while others deal with the prospects of an “empty nest.”

However, where ever in this process we may find ourselves, it is never an easy time.

The need to guide our children through every trial and tribulation of life is hard to do without the control of the early years.

Relinquishing control and trusting the job we have done in raising them is hard to do, especially if we are unsure about the job we have done.

This uncertainty is something that bonds all parents; for is there a single one of us that is 100 percent sure of the job we have done all the time, even when we have the greatest of children?

Hope for their future is pushed to the forefront of our thoughts – and I use the word hope in all its meaning – and needing faith in the lessons we think they have learned, all the while praying we have done right by them.

Our fears for our children cause the dread of this time; but the love we have for them can help foster in the excitement they need us to have with them.

I have been through this process once before. Our oldest now out of the house for two years, and despite each of my children being vastly different people, I am able to take comfort in the process.

I have even come to look forward to this exciting new chapter in their lives, one they are writing all on their own.

I no longer fear for my children, but thanks to our son, I know no matter where life takes them, they will be exactly where they need to be; just as I have been exactly where I have needed to be every step of my life.

The maturity that takes over in just a short time once they are on their own – that I have witnessed from our son – is so heartwarming that the mistakes made allow me to understand that like me (and you) life truly is the classroom where we never stop learning.

Granted, I could say the progressive growth of our son, and that I know our daughter will show as well could be a result of their upbringing, but I have seen this maturity in more than just our son.

Coaching soccer for as long as I did, allowed me the greatness that is knowing several young people and gave me the wonderful gift of having more than just my kids as “my kids.”

And every time I see these kids, these young adults, when they make their way back home and we run into them, I am amazed at their presence.

Here too, I could just be lucky in the group of them I have known, and still know, but I would like to think this kind of maturity is what happens for the majority of our children – they just choose different paths to take.

So parents, with graduating children, whether it is your first, second or last leaving the nest, take comfort in the exciting journey they have ahead of them.

It is a hard journey, but an exciting one nonetheless.

It is a journey in which many of us have fallen, but picked ourselves up and brushed ourselves off, pushing forward just as they will.

This is a journey that brings as much joy as sorrow but includes all the wonders of life and that is the most precious gift given to us all.

And eventually, it is also a journey that will bring most of them so close to us that even the hardest of times – the teen years – will be all but forgotten; that is until it is their turn.

Smile parents and know you have helped your children be exactly where they need to be.

May you feel the excitement of your graduate as they write the new chapters of their lives and may you remember the exuberance you felt when realizing it truly is your life to live.

Be happy for them as they begin their journey, and not saddened by the absence, because no matter where they are or what they will do they will always be your baby and that is something no one can ever take from you.

So until next time, laugh heartily, love everything, and remember you are never alone.

Contact Tina Mines at [email protected].