It's Mines

Everyone wants to be loved for who they are, right?

If that’s so, then why do so many people portray different sides of themselves depending upon who they are with? It would be more accurate to say people want to be loved for who they show the world – which ever part of society they are trying to emulate.

Everyone at some time in their life wears a mask, whether it is to protect them from hurt; while feeling out people and new situations; to shield themselves from detection so they are more accepted into society; or so they are more accepted by the peer group they decide to make themselves apart of.

Many times in life a mask needs to be worn, such as when you have been hurt or are hurting and you don’t wish to share this with the world around you.

I can identify with this mask, it is one I have worn many times in my life so I could protect those around me from how I was feeling or from the pain I felt growing up.

Then there are the times people wear masks because they are new and trying to figure out the lay of the land.

Wearing a coat of armor at this time can be the wise thing to do, it helps so you can get a good grasp for things and assess people and the working of a place.

However, even here eventually it becomes time to take the mask off so you can be who you are, so the merit you have will show through and so the valued person (we all are) you are can be a part of you.

I used to wear a mask like that too, though for many, many years what you see is what you get, but it doesn’t mean you will get to know me.

Bringing me to yet another mask worn, one I have only recently understood why it is so important to me not to wear anymore, even though I risk the last types of mask wearer creeping around.

The mask I am talking about is the one that allows us to protect ourselves from everyone and everything, because we are afraid to be who we are, fearing ridicule or isolation.

To a point I believe most people are who they show, though still wearing a mask of sorts because I honestly believe we are taught to wear masks is okay and part of who we are supposed to be.

Has society degraded so far that to be who we really are should be seen as so bad or even feared?

This is probably the hardest mask to rip away, because it reveals the inner workings of who we are – like this column has with me in many ways.

Granted, there is a double edged sword that comes with ripping away this mask, but the edge that has cut me deeper is the one that allows me to understand that I am nothing but me and I am only valuable when I am me.

And all the things that have made me who I am today, good and bad, have allowed me to get to this point in my life and I am glad to be who I am – even if you don’t think I should be.

Reaching this point has also made me realize there are some very deep problems within society and the masks that are accepted and worn.

I think the masks people wear to be more accepted by a circle of friends, that is hiding the ugly person inside or when the mask you wear is because you wish to manipulate is a disease society has embraced.

I say this because that mask then becomes who you are perceived as being, a part of your identity, and a piece of you, what people see you as being whether or not that is actually who you are.

There are several types of people who wear such masks, as I said above those wishing to be accepted by a certain group of people, of which can make a person ugly on the inside even if you weren’t before.

Let me give you an example…. I am going to use a female as the “model” for this example, because I have found and witnessed more often than not it is women who are willing to wear the ugly masks for the benefit of friends.

Take the woman who is nice to someone when her friends aren’t around or even at a distance, but once she is around her “circle” she will immediately do a 180 so she will still be accepted.

I have witnessed women who will even then participate in degrading or maliciously gossiping about the very person they were just talking to, so they will again be accepted or feel “better” about having been what they are trying so hard to portray.

Yet, the mask they wear is easily identified, if you pay attention, after all it is in the behavior and words of the person.

The more dangerous masks worn come from predators – not just sexual predators but manipulators too.

The masks these people wear are not as easily spotted, because it is more of a skin for them than a mask and if the slightest of peaks past it they are ready with excuses – and unfortunately more often than not they are excuses well-crafted so people will be accepting of a lie being the truth.

Masks, we all wear them for parts or all of our lives, but what does the one you wear say about you?

Contact Tina Mines at [email protected].