It's Mines

First impressions have been on my mind a lot lately, and how much stock most people put into them, more often than not leaving people with a misplaced judgment, because first impressions can be just as misleading as they can be telling.

Most people use a first impression to decide what they think about another, often building their future thoughts on the ‘taste’ that person left in their mouth.

Whether it be in the way a person talks, their attitude, the way they dress or how they act most people will form and use that first impression as a basis for judgment.

For instance, if the meeting goes well you are left with a good impression and a willingness to have future interaction with that person, but if the meeting goes badly quite often you don’t wish to have to ‘deal’ with that person again, if you can help it.

Another example is meeting someone who looks a certain way, be it ‘hippie style’ or ‘clean cut.’ this first impression will leave a lingering feel in our thoughts toward this person.

This is something I have learned a great deal about in my life, but has come center stage particularly over the past several months, after all most of my interviews were first time meetings and first time impressions.

And in retrospect I have to say that despite the first impression, good or bad, I came to realize my dislike of first impressions is founded.

I have not ever put much into first impressions, preferring to give a person a chance before deciding if this is someone I could be friends with or someone I would rather just keep as an acquaintance or not have in my life at all.

I feel extensive conversations or second and third meetings are usually more telling than the first, because who knows what kind of day that person has just had or is having.

Though, as is with every personal rule, I do have an exception to this and that is if the person I am meeting is exceptionally rude and crude.

In that case, I have quite often preferred not to associate with them and keep my distance, even avoiding a second encounter, if possible.

Here I have to say that since we live in a small community those future encounters are more likely than not and when they occur I try to be as brief and pleasant as I possibly can.

Am I always pleasant during these awkward encounters, no, but like you it depends upon the day I am having, and if it is a rough day I will try to avoid these people like the plague.

This is because I believe if a person is willing to be nasty or very rude when meeting a stranger for the first time, the likelihood they are any different any other time is usually next to none.

Though on the flip side of that thinking are the times in life when we meet someone that is going through a rough patch, are the kind of person who has built a wall around their inner self, or just simply having a bad day, and therefore are not truly themselves.

On these times I don’t believe a true opinion of that person can be made and is quite often unfair to make, so the first impression is false – and often so is the next few impressions.

Just as a bad patch can make a normally happy, vibrant, and cheerful person down and crabby, a great streak can make the normally crabby, negative person brighter and more cheerful - again leading to false impressions.

I think my husband has always been right when he has told me to take the time to get to know a person so a clear impression of who they really are can be made, especially if I am planning to expose my family to them.

A life lesson that has taken me many years to learn, because like many people, at one time I was easily tricked by initial impressions, both good and bad only to discover the true nature of the person was not who or what I thought but completely different.

In the end, however that first impression goes it is most often used as the building block of our future thoughts towards a person,

But if you carry the ‘all-important’ knowledge that your impressions can be very wrong, about anyone, you may just meet some really great, colorful people in your lifetime.

Contact Tina Mines at [email protected].