Van Ree's Voice

Most people have some sort of brain capacity to recall most events or things that they have to do in a given day. I am not one of those people.

If you are like me you can walk from one room of your house to another and in those few short steps and have already forgotten why in the world you even got off the couch.

Granted I also have just “brain farts” sometimes where I can be searching the house for a good five minutes before realizing that the cell phone that I am frantically looking for is in my hand. Sometimes I question my sanity at times like these but I also have come to realize that when someone hasn’t slept much over a couple day period one can be surprised by what they can accomplish or their lack of accomplishments.

But my lack of memory is just one of many flaws that make me the way I am. I have learned to adapt to a warped memory just as others adapt to things that make their life more difficult.

Luckily with technology I can set alarms on my phone the second I learn of a task I must complete so that I can be reminded of it later.

This is also the reason that if allowed to I record every interview I conduct with someone in person. Not only can I go through every minute of recorded material if necessary to verify facts but it also helps me remember the details. Though having a tape recorder on the table might make some people uneasy, I assure them that it is for the purpose of my memory, not to make them uncomfortable.

Surely I could attempt more exercises or mind building games throughout the day to try and strengthen my mind but my grandmother is one reason why I refrain from going out of my way to complete them.

The woman worked on crossword puzzles everyday all day long and she was hit hard with Alzheimer’s in her 50s. Those who have had relatives go through diseases that deteriorate one’s mind know what I’m talking about when I ask to that degree of memory loss, when is a person not your grandmother anymore?

However even if that person you love doesn’t remember you anymore you can still make memories with them for you to cherish. My aunt says she will never forget when one nurse called her up and told her that my grandmother and her friend had been frantically looking through a dresser for something.

When asked what they were looking for, my grandmother turned around, completely serious and answered, “We are trying to find our memories. They keep telling us that we lost them somewhere.”

I can only hope that with Alzheimer’s on my father’s side and cases of Dementia on my mother’s side I will not befall the disease in my later years. But no one can ever be certain about how their health will pan out.

I try to live in the now and not think about how it might end. I have a whole life to live before that time, even if it entails forgetting about the pot of water on the stove and having the water evaporate – leaving a burn mark not only on the bottom of the pan but also on my pride. I mean, who else can say that they are so good of a cook that they burn water..

Not only does my memory fail me more times than not, I also have a problem with reading and saying numbers out loud. I am getting better and better as I am asked to recite the newspaper’s phone number or my own on a daily basis at work but I am rather dyslexic when it comes to reciting digits. I know a lot of people say that they have the same problem but if I am told a phone number or have to recite one that is not permanently stored in my brain, I have to focus on each individual number and say them slowly and carefully.

You’re probably all thinking what in the world is this girl doing in journalism?

I love to write. Yes, I have memory issues, issues with numbers, and sometimes my tongue gets tied when I speak, but powering through those slight problems is what makes life interesting.

Yes, my boyfriend might have to remind me to do things multiple times during the day or I might have to repeat a phone number three times before I get it correct, but I try my best and I think so far the outcome has been worth the daily troubles.

We all might think during the day, ‘Darn I wish I was better at this or remembering that’ but nobody is perfect and our daily struggles are what make us different.

I’m lucky enough to have a boyfriend who will remind me three times when I ask what time his basketball game is and friends that don’t judge me when I’m searching for the car keys clearly in my hand.

What makes us different than objects such as robots are strengths and flaws that only we realize and experience.

What one can think is a flaw about them can usually go unnoticed by others. We reflect so much on ourselves without asking ourselves if our flaws really bother other people as much as they bother us. In most cases the answer to that question is no. The people around you love who you are regardless of the setbacks you deal with personally everyday, and for that I am grateful.

Hannah Van Ree can be contacted at [email protected].