Distance.
According to my iPhone — which is sitting on my office desk this morning — from my present location I am currently a car travel of 21 hours and 35 minutes from my previous home in Rochester, Wash.
This calculates to an approximate distance of 1,360 miles.
With technology these days, distance seems to be less of an obstacle when trying to communicate with the ones you care about. A letter delivered on horseback is now not the only way to receive messages from your loved ones.
Heck, I’d love to see that one of these days.
Instead we have phones and computers. We are even able to see one another via a computer screen on the widely popular software application available on the Internet called Skype.
Even with all these new methods of communication however, I argue that these forms of reaching out to those you hold closest is not the same as being there with them in person.
I am not trying to bring any pity upon myself, or others who are far away from their family and old friends. I am attempting to bring forth how I really feel on the matter – that distance makes an individual and relationship that much closer and stronger.
Just because you are technically and physically far away from someone, does not mean that your heart has gone with you and left the ones you care about.
I will admit I do not talk to my brother or my parents as much as I should. My mother has expressed to me that one call from me will make her night. The fact that I unfortunately don’t call every night however does not mean I don’t think about them everyday.
I have tried to examine why I don’t make more time to call or text and I think it comes down to two concepts.
The idea that deep down I am trying to tell myself I am independent and the fact that every time I pick up the phone I do in fact miss them more.
But still, the distance that some may think strains a relationship (for me at least) makes every single second count more when I am with my loved ones again.
One commonly used saying that I have been acquainted with states, “The few hours I spend with you are worth the thousand hours I spend without you.”
When I went home for a couple days this last December, I had plans to see all of my college friends and acquaintances.
That being said, I ended up leaving my house a total of two times during my stay. I didn’t even want to waste time to sleep – which was inevitable due to the all-nighter and 6 a.m. flight from Denver that launched my visit.
Leaving them again was hard, but I almost made it past airport security without tears.
If your father is like mine, he always has a couple little perfectly phrased words that can bring you to tears when you leave him, no matter if it’s your birthday or the best day of your life. I’ve learned to never take my father’s words or time for granted.
My dad in particular always seems to get me with the clause, “I’m proud of you.”
Another one of my favorite quotes, for the record I really like quotes, is “Distance diminishes small loves and increases great ones.”
To me, this is the biggest thing to take away from being distanced from others. Not only does it give you a chance to become your own person and find out more about yourself, but also you realize which bonds really matter and which people can just blow away from your life like dead leaves in the wind.
Now I am not saying that everyone should just go off halfway across the country to take a job where you know no one and try and “find out who you are.” It just happened to work for me and I was able to walk into this situation and luckily right away stumble upon great friends and great people.
Sometimes distance doesn’t work out. Sometimes homesickness catches on too strong and people can’t take the sadness that overcomes their adventure. But at the same time I would like to say distance will only make weak relationships deteriorate, not those bound by great memories and true thoughtful.
Distance is just one obstacle that can strengthen an individual and can be used as a tool to determine who will stay by your side, even if not physically, for the rest of your life.
Hannah Van Ree can be contacted at [email protected].
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