It's Mines

I did a bit of thinking this week about what I wanted to write about and one topic kept coming to mind – underappreciated.

Now that word will bring up a lot of thought for people – well, for most it will.

Such as being underappreciated at home for the amount of things a person does, like a mom or dad who is always there for the family but yet it seems everything they do goes unnoticed or is expected.

Whether it be to constantly pick up after the rest or making sure the meals are cooked, and even if the bills are paid.

May be it is the mother or father who is always keeping their kids in mind when trying to “raise them right” and realizing nothing they do or say will make a difference until the child is old enough to understand or at the very least walk a mile in a parents shoes.

It is true this happens a lot in families, mine included, and at some point I don’t think I’m alone in this, everyone feels this way.

But in the grand scheme of things does this matter?

After all, if you really think about it the lessons (good and bad) we are taught by you parents are not realized until we are in fact walking a mile in their shoes.

Many people can also identify with being underappreciated as a person.

Going out of your way to help people, friends, family, or a stranger that is in need, whether it be a simple act of smiling because someone is frowning or something more such as giving your last dollar(s) to help another out.

It seems this happens quite often, thanks to a thing called self-involvement or selfishness.

Putting yourself out to help better someone else’s life, only to realize the giving is not a two way street but I have found the down side to this is that most people feel an entitlement to for some reason.

In which I also have to add it is mainly due to selfishness more so than anything else.

However, here too - I say this due to experience, some recent and some from the past - I still don’t think it’s a bad way to be; giving of one’s self.

And again, in the grand design of life I am forced to ask, is this really important?

After all, I wouldn’t give unless I wanted to, right?

And my values and moral compass does say that we should all take care of each other all the time and not just sometimes.

Then there is being underappreciated at work, whether it is by a co-worker or boss.

Which I can say, from experience, is quite discouraging, no matter who it is that seems to under estimate or under value the job you do.

I can also say it seems to be one of the worst under appreciations to feel or have dealt to you, because it is a place many feel they have chosen to be or feel as if they have to be there and well while it is happening, it is a majority of a person’s day that they have to deal with it.

The latter due to those pesky bills we all have, no matter who we are, and the need to eat and live, preferably with a roof over our heads and those accompaniments that come along with life as we know it to be.

To be underappreciated in a career or job we are good at seems to be the toughest to have to learn to live with, but I have to ask, isn’t such one of those things that just happens in life?

And at the end of the day, when your able to go home and see all the things you work hard for surrounding you and those you work hard for there to enjoy them with you, does it really matter what a co-worker or boss actually thinks?

Then there is the feeling of being underappreciated by a spouse – I saved that for second to last, because no matter how much you are under appreciated in the other areas, this seems to be the most recognizable and hardest of the under appreciations to live with.

Yes, I think even more so than that of day to day work place that doesn’t recognize your value.

I think this is the hardest to wrap one’s head around due to the love and respect we all need and crave.

So to be taken for granted by a spouse tends to hurt or feel way worse than it could from anyone else.

I think that is why so many marriages end and so many people feel the need to seek outside comfort – but as always I leave a great deal of leeway to be very wrong.

However, this is one of the under appreciations that is easily fixed –telling your other two things about them that you love a day will go a long way.

So really, is this kind of under appreciation deserved to be called the hardest?

No, I don’t think so….

Because I think the person who under appreciates themselves, all of who they are, is the one who needs to remember just how important they actually are - from themselves.

There is no greater value a person can place upon themselves, than anyone else can, no matter who that someone else is.

If you do not appreciate you for you, with all the faults and oddities, grandness and love that make you who you are, isn’t that like making everyone else who under values you right?

And quite honestly there is not a person alive who does not possess value.

So don’t under appreciate yourself, but also realize what the difference in appreciation and selfishness are and where the fine line is drawn.

After all, just because you realize you’re valuable does not mean someone else is not.

Contact Tina Mines at [email protected]